***********
Skyline changes.
Blocking out the sun.
Haze of distant smoke
Fills the gaps.
Destruction breeds rebirth.
The trees savor the fire.
Never mind how.
It just does.
Ashes breed the Phoenix
Of nature undone.
Cyclical world knows how to
Survive by itself.
Leave it be.
It knows what to do.
Don’t rush the process.
The Phoenix will rise again.
~A
Wishes of snowflakes dance in the air.
The streetlights flicker into existence
The muted sun says goodnight over
The western hills.
Dreams of bigger things whisper in the hearts
Of those who have little.
Nicer baubles dance, teasing those who
Have enough to share but don’t.
Patience is not always an easy virtue.
It tells us to wait. Wait for it.
Wait for what?
Ahh, but you will see. When it is right.
Memories of past, reminders of pain and glory.
Dream the future. Wherever we go.
The past must be invited along.
Remember and learn to do better soon.
Those who came before were the same as you and I.
Different names and births, but same nonetheless.
Hear their tales and heed their advice.
Those wishes of snowflakes will dance through the night.
~A
I have a few personal projects that will be incorporated into this blog. One will be a static page. The second will likely be just a post. Same for the third one. Then there’s the Big Kahuna. That one is semi-secret, namely because I want to try to get a grant to do the research. But it’s a massive project.
The first post project is about Medicare For All. I’ve had discussions on FB with people about what is being pitched and what I think it should have. Admittedly, I haven’t delved too much into it yet. It’ll take me a bit. I do know, from my own personal observations, that there are things from Medicare as it is right now that need an overhaul. My parents were on it, being they were older from the get-go. I saw issues with the system from my dad’s experiences in caring for my mom as her Alzheimer’s worsened. And for his own health.
I also don’t think what we have for Medicaid is perfect either. Same for private insurance. My ideal is to take the best aspects of all three systems and make THAT Universal Healthcare. But I’ll go into more detail later.
The second post project is more a personal observation of the systems in place for the homeless population here in PDX. Some organizations are doing just fine, others… well, they need a LOT of work. And an institutional spanking because they’re trying to do shit they don’t have the staff/funding/training for. I’ll do my best to dissect the good, bad, and the ugly.
I won’t go into too much detail about the Big Kahuna. But if anyone knows where a solo researcher can get a grant for a social science project, let me know. That one will likely surface over on a barely-started blog of mine that has nothing going yet. Life and all.
Then there’s the static page project. I can do a fair chunk of the searching for links myself, but if anyone knows of non-profits in their state/country, let me know. This project is about FERAL CAT RESOURCES. My intent is to list links and some info on TNR (Trap Neuter Release) programs in all 50 states of the US, hopefully Canadian provinces as well. And if there are any, overseas in other countries.
I think that’s it for now. I’ll try to get back to the poetry posts at some point as well. I just haven’t felt really super creative of late.
~A
March for me.
I survived.
But still I live
In fear of
Repercussions.
March for me.
I am disabled
And cannot walk far.
March for me.
I am anxious in crowds.
And my voice wavers.
March for me.
I have C-PTSD.
I cannot stand being
Touched by men.
March for me.
For walking is too much
For me to handle.
March for me.
For I cannot
March
For myself.
~A
Something happened today.
Something that ripped me to pieces.
I want to believe there are humans
Who understand what being
HUMAN
Is like.
What being
HOMELESS
Is like.
My day was okay.
Except one brief moment.
That formed a black cloud
Over my head.
My soul is soaked through.
My heart and mind
Need to be wrung out.
The cloud weighed me down.
I wonder now.
Who among us
Has compassion?
A safe place for a woman and her cat?
When the world buckles underneath you,
Who do you turn to when it makes you fall?
When the help you need the most is not the help family can give you?
Where do you go?
When you scream for help, but there is
None to be found.
~A.
November 2017
Another short musing.
For years now, I have heard “poetry is dead…”
I’m no Poet Laureate or anything, but the fact that I have friends who regularly get their horror/suspense poetry accepted to genre mags, and that -this week alone- the pages/posts that consistently get the most hits are the poetry posts…
Those who say poetry is dead can go suck it! Between poetry and my fiction, writing in general has been very therapeutic for me. It helped me process my mother’s Alzheimer’s and eventual death. Dealing with my PTSD (and the assholes who did enough damage for me to develop it). With my dad passing away suddenly. With my own brushes with death, my suicidal ideations…etc… writing has helped me process a LOT of shit. As well as general observational pieces.
Poetry is powerful. And in the right “hands,” it can rock worlds. Just look to Maya Angelou. She made words soar.
Poetry is alive and can be used for great things in times of upheaval.
~Amanda (still in pain, but not as bad as 2 hours ago)
Crowdfunding… well, yeah. Are ya’ll sick of it yet? I know many of my friends are living paycheck to paycheck as it is… but my request is that even if you can’t donate, share my posts or the YouCaring campaign with people you know. Even if we have 40+ friends in common, you’ll have people among your friends that I won’t know and maybe they can help. (Most of what’s showing on the YC campaign has long been used for things like moving van, etc)
Now, more on Peace. I was in a strange frame of mind last night when I wrote that post. Here’s my deal: I grew up with bigotry, as I have stated many times, and while I don’t fully understand WHY people hate (and really, it’s likely as many reasons as there are bigots) I do know that it won’t get us anywhere if we keep up the hate and anger from all sides. Yes, bigots tend to incite violence. Did you see the article about Saffiyah Khan in England who approached one of the loudest bigots at a rally of theirs and just stood there, smiling? Be more like her. Deflect and protect yourself, but don’t throw the proverbial first punch. If you can’t control your anger, walk away. Please.
Do I slip up and go on angry rants and call shitty politicians and wannabe politicians nasty names? Sure. But I don’t attack in general. I am a die-hard Liberal, and grew up with Republican parents (My dad joked when I registered to vote, “where did we go wrong with you?” smiling the whole time. He was more liberal than his voting choices let others to believe). During the election mess the last year or more, I noticed that some Republicans were really more middle-of-the-road than they’d like to think they are. So, knowing my dad and some of those politicians stances, I refuse to lump ALL Republicans together. I try not to, at least. Sometimes, they just need to take a step back and keep their mouths shut, lest they say something so insanely stupid I cringe.
I think what bothers me the most about many Republican politicians and their followers is that they try to claim themselves Christians, while spewing bigotry and judgment. But what did Jesus teach? Certainly not hate. Not bigotry. And judgment isn’t our job. For those who believe, judgment is God’s job, not ours. To call oneself a Christian, you must follow the teachings of Jesus. He taught love, acceptance, humility, among many other things. Not hate. If you’re going to call yourself a Christian, try following His teachings. I’ve read them, have you?
Back to Peace. The way that Saffiyah Khan handled herself was considerably more Christ-like than all of the shouting and hate and bigotry I’ve seen from people who consider themselves Christians. To hate so strongly, to use force against someone just because they’re different, to incite violence in the name of God… that is not what Jesus taught. Are there people of other faiths who show hate and use violence? Yes. I’m not denying that. But those individuals are a small fraction of the people of those faiths. I’ve seen more Muslims be helpful and kind in recent months than I have of people who consider themselves Christians. I know Atheists who are kinder. I also know some Atheists who hate as much as those from different religions.
We’ve done enough damage to ourselves and our planet with all of this hate. Don’t get me started on greed. That’s destroying the planet just as much.
We can do better.
We have to.
This is our only planet.
And underneath all of our differences, we bleed the same color of blood, have the same organs. You get the idea. Instead of stooping to the level of the bigots, be better. Show peace. Smile, as Saffiyah Khan did. We may not change it all over night, or even within one generation, but if we choose peace over violence, change for the better will happen.
~Peace Penguin
I have my times when I do ask for help. I have to. I prefer being independent, but even I have to rely on others at times. But this doesn’t apply to my whole life.
Including today’s client, I’ve had a few clients verbally applaud me for doing furniture assembly. The stereotype of construction-like things is traditionally male. But I’m not exactly traditional.
I grew up in a fixer-upper house and was my dad’s mini-me shadow. I knew hand tools -and how to use them- by the time I started kindergarten. I was about that age when I “helped” my dad and siblings with the substrate plywood layer on the flat roof of an addition to the house. I wasn’t very good at getting the nails hammered in right, but I still helped. I grew up watching This Old House with my dad. I still watch it.
When I was 19 and moved into my first apartment an hour away from my parents, I soon realized I was in a bad neighborhood, and being a suburban kid mostly sheltered from all of that, I bought a chain to put on my door. For a few weeks, I asked my male cousins and my dad if they could come over and install it.
After a few weeks, I gave up asking and headed to the store to buy my own damn screwdrivers and tools. I installed that chain myself. That was a turning point for me.
Over the years I’ve built basic furniture (the guys at HomeD always look at me funny), repaired old furniture, assembled more IKEA than most people I know… you get the idea.
So most of the tasks I get hired for are for assembling stuff from IKEA and Wayfair (do NOT get me started on them). To me, it’s just something I know how to do. Nothing spectacular. It never really occurred to me that this was anything different than the norm.
I’m a computer geek and I assemble things. Two things that are traditionally male-oriented. What I’ve found in these gigs is that clients who are female and live alone appreciate that they can hire another woman instead of having concerns over their personal safety by hiring a strange man through an app on their phone.
It’s physical work. And with all of my injuries reminding me of their existence, I do walk away sore and sometimes in pain. Okay, usually in pain. But I enjoy helping people. I can’t stand for very long before the pain sets in, so retail jobs are pretty much out, but these occasional gigs are fine, as long as I have a day to recover.
I’m not perfect. I have plenty of failings. But I am empowered by the comments I get from clients. They appreciate that they’re seeing a woman doing tasks that aren’t traditionally “feminine.” Yeah, sometimes I wear skirts…. but I’m certainly not super-femme. I’m just me. Sometimes I need help, sometimes I don’t. I do what I can. And sometimes, that’s not “traditional.”
Which is fine with me.
~Amanda
Still crowdfunding… blah blah blah… I know. I simply ask that people share. Copy the URL and share far and wide. Please share and encourage others to share and donate if they can. My eviction hearing is this Thursday, 1/26.
Okay, so there’s a new static page up. It’s titled “How Great Will America Be?”
This stemmed from a discussion with a friend of mine from the UK I was chatting with. The quasi-viral “copy and paste” post about “Inaugural Day statistics” posted so that down the road, the post would come up in their FB memories to see how much has changed.
I’m taking it one step further.
As best as I can manage, I’ll pull the same stats quarterly, as they’re announced (things like unemployment rates are released quarterly), put them into a new column on a spreadsheet, and eventually be able to graph them as I go. If folks wish to help me gather data, please feel free to assist. I may be hip-deep in other things sometimes, so I may not get the data on the right days. I’ll do my best. Eventually, I’ll have the graph up on the page as well. If you can think of any other statistics I should have up there, also, let me know.
The handful of things already happening in DC will have lasting, damaging effects on the vast majority of citizens and anyone else here. Some things being put up for consideration reek of shutting the country off from the rest of the global society.
From congress.gov
There is one summary for H.R.193. Bill summaries are authored by CRS.
Shown Here:
Introduced in House (01/03/2017)
American Sovereignty Restoration Act of 2017
This bill repeals the United Nations Participation Act of 1945 and other specified related laws.
- The bill requires:
- (1) the President to terminate U.S. membership in the United Nations (U.N.), including any organ, specialized agency, commission, or other formally affiliated body.
- (2) closure of the U.S. Mission to the United Nations.
- The bill prohibits:
- (1) the authorization of funds for the U.S. assessed or voluntary contribution to the U.N.
- (2) the authorization of funds for any U.S. contribution to any U.N. military or peacekeeping operation.
- (3) the expenditure of funds to support the participation of U.S. Armed Forces as part of any U.N. military or peacekeeping operation.
- (4) U.S. Armed Forces from serving under U.N. command, and
- (5) diplomatic immunity for U.N. officers or employees.
This is bad news if it goes through. It’s frightening on many levels. And this is a simplified breakdown. With the people we currently have in control, it could very well go through. We’re stepping into very dangerous territory here.
And this is only the beginning. If they keep going, we will no longer truly be great or anything close to that. A great country takes care of the people and the infrastructure. What I’m already seeing is the opposite.
This isn’t great. It isn’t even good.
It’s Deplorable.
~Dragon
[Obligatory #crowdfunding message before the rest of the post: I’m still short for storage and really need to pay that asap before they do something drastic to my stuff. Also, I need as many people as possible to share this post or another (or the YouCaring link) to increase visibility before Thursday.]
I’ve noticed a few friends starting to say they don’t want to see any more political posts. I totally get the exhaustion from all of it. I’m an empath. I feel too much. I absorb too much. I have my own shit to deal with. I get it. But please…
Don’t Run Away.
This is not the time for hiding. Yes, the election is over. He’s been sworn in. He and his cronies are already screwing over the public. The very people they are supposed to represent. We cannot just throw our hands up and cave to their whims. If you need to limit how much politics you see on Facebook or elsewhere, that’s fine. But don’t walk away from it. Stay informed to the point that you have an awareness of what’s going on, but take it in smaller doses if need be. Just don’t ignore it completely. Then you fall into silence and thus complacency, even if you don’t realize it.
As I’ve learned from my years of dealing with my ex and his abuse/cyberstalking, silence gives the abusers power. And in this case, we cannot be silent. That only boosts their egos, gives them the idea that they’re winning this war. We can’t let that happen. We have to hold our heads high and keep moving. Keep speaking out. Keep the fire going.
The fuckery they’re already pulling in DC will damage all of us. And it will continue. We can’t stop now.
~Dragon
The Great Penguini Speaketh 