Posted in auction, community, conformity, cosplay, creativity, crowdfunding, friends, gratitude, individuality, multipotentialite, scanner, storage

2/3/19: Scannerisms

I’ve blogged recently about my difficulties finding work. I’ve struggled finding my niche in society. And after watching videos and reading books, I do know WHY, at least in part, I’m having so many issues.

I’m a Scanner (Barbara Sher’s term) or what has been coined more recently, a Multipotentialite (see video below). I have a couple of Barbara’s books, and man, they make sense to me. Then I found the video below and it still clicks.

The problem is that society doesn’t see us as valuable in traditional environments. As the video mentions, our society thrives and focuses on people being “specialists.” But us Scanners are anything BUT specialists. We know a bit more than enough to be competent in several things, but never hone in on ONE thing.

I have my BA in English, creative writing as my focus. But I’m not writing all the time. I go through phases where I can work on my fiction for a few months, and then that winds down and I focus on another thing.
I’m the type of Scanner Barbara refers to as a Cyclical Scanner.

When it comes to my core passions, I have four. And I shift, mostly circular in nature, between those four things. Writing, Photography, Web Design, and Sewing/Design.

And then there are the “others.” My storage unit is full of supplies for the “others.” Oh, I need to paint some shoes to match this costume… Other. Make a mask? Other. Design a book cover? Other. Make a piece of jewelry for something? Other. And soooo many more. My home, and by extension my storage unit, is a place of variety and creativity. I do many, MANY things, but am no expert in any one of them. Pretty decent at several of them, but no expert. It doesn’t mean I love any of them more or less. My “Big Four” are the ones I’m “pretty fucking good” at.

So, how does this tie in to job hunting?

Our society has become entranced with Specialists. Look at job listings sometime. In accounting, you have listings for Payroll Specialists and so on. In tech, well, don’t get me started. All the various programming languages and certifications and …. yeah. In medicine, engineering, the trades (spot welder versus sheet welding) and most areas of employment, you’ll find a call for specialists.

But for a decent chunk of human history, it was balanced out between generalists and specialists. One person who fits Scanner types well? Leonardo da Vinci. Most know who he was because of his paintings. But he was also an inventor and so much more. What we call now a “Renaissance Man.”

Scanners and Multipotentialites are Renaissance People. We have a lot to offer society, but society doesn’t see what we can do for them. We are pushed to the outer edges of society and, in many cases, not really taken seriously.

I have a slew of skills I can offer an employer, not just creative stuff. But finding a company that potentially SEES those skills as a package deal worth the time is difficult.


Do I have other issues that are making my employability difficult? Yes. And I acknowledge them completely.

I do tell people that the best environment for me to work in is where I have a variety of things I can work on and switch back and forth between. And, because of my back, where I can get up and move around as needed.


Who knows where I’ll end up. I certainly don’t. I want to be able to love my job. Or at least like it enough that I don’t fall asleep halfway through the morning. Granted, that would require me to actually get decent sleep at night. I’m working on it.

~A

Posted in anxiety, artsy stuff, asexuality, auction, C-PTSD, community, conformity, convention, cosplay, creativity, crowdfunding, depression, domestic abuse, dreams, emergency, faith, family, friends, gender, history, homelessness, housing, individuality, life, medical, Personal, sexual assault, silliness, society, storage, urgent, writing

1/2/19: A Bit Different

I’ve always been kind of an “odd duck” well, rabbit. I’m still not entirely sure if identifying as Rabbit from Winnie-the-Pooh is a good thing or a bad one. But I’ve had several friends agree that I’m Rabbit. But I’ve always been different. Not so much in a neuro-atypical way, just different.

I was the kid who plucked dog and cat hairs from the family pets and looked at them under the 3x microscope. The one who “hunted the dragon” which was actually my dad working on the yard. The kid who was caught on film in rainbow striped tights and a slip (top, not skirt) and ballet shoes, using my dad’s drafting table after hours to doodle.

The teen who wore black leather lace up boots and a beret or real fedora -black with a grey band- and pink and blue shiny eye shadow. Drawing and dancing and singing and pretending I was famous. All while contemplating suicide because of emotional abuse.

I tried, in my 20’s, to go with the pack, to dress like others and fit in. But I realized as I inched closer to 30 that that wasn’t me. It wasn’t WHO or WHAT I was. Still not me now. I rejected the “American Dream” concept of a house in the ‘burbs with the white picket fence and all the other trappings.

My life has been filled with good and bad. The bad has had a tendency to overwhelm me and my life. From a sexually abusive relationship to almost dying at 35 from Cellulitis. To being homeless for most of the past two years. It hasn’t been easy, not by any means.

For labels: I’m an Androgynous Aromantic Asexual Furry Cosplayer who also happens to write SF/F… and, well, there probably are a few other things. I paint, I sew, I design floorplans of houses and costumes. I can draft my own patterns to some degree. I refer to myself as a Geek-of-all-Trades.

And just about everything that one with all those labels and hobbies (along with more I didn’t list) would have to help define who they are is locked away in the storage unit up for auction tomorrow at noon PST. My identity, my first fursuit, my costumes, my sewing machine, my music.

My everything.

I’m not perfect or beautiful or famous like I had dreamed of as a kid. I’m just this one person who is trying to pick my life back up after being on temporary hold for almost two years. I’m a person who stumbles and falls on my own feet while walking along the path of life. I think a lot of us do that. I just choose not to hide the bruises from my falls.

~A

Posted in anxiety, auction, community, cosplay, creativity, crowdfunding, depression, dreams, emergency, friends, homelessness, housing, life, poetry, society, storage, urgent, writing

1/2/19: Waiting (#poetry and #crowdfunding)

WAITING

Broken lines of light come to me over the water below
The bridge under my feet is cold and slick from the winter rain.
The moon betrays me to the night sky.
I stand over the water.
Watching.
Hoping.

In my dream I felt this night.
I saw the moon over me, the rigid steel of the bridge around me.
The ripplies of water disturb the lights of the city beyond.
I saw this night.
I felt it.
Yet, he is nowhere.

In this dream, he stands in this place.
On this bridge.
Silence only broken by the water below, hitting the supports.
He stands here.
Why, I do not know.
So, I wait.

My impatience overtakes my desire.
The bells in the distance tell me midnight is here.
Yet I am still alone.
Here.
On the bridge.
Waiting.

Pacing, hoping he will show.
I fumble to make sure it is safe in my pocket.
Staring into the deep black water.
Below.
And I wait.
He never comes.

~APA 2007 (I have no clue where this came from, but it’s one of mine. *shrugs*)

Posted in cosplay, creativity, crowdfunding, emergency, life, Personal, urgent

A little more… #crowdfunding 

Got more donations that get me 2/3 there. Still need about 200-ish. I called amd got him to pull it from auction. But I’d like to get this wrapped up today. 

If there is something someone donating would like in return, let me know (esp those who have donated larger sums). I make lots of things. Want Jedi robes? I have fabric for that in storage. A necklace or pendant? That too. My embroidery machine is being persnickety, but I can try. Something else? Ask me. I have lots of crafting supplies and the skillset to utilize nearly all of it in a decent way. Just ask.

Getting closer… 

~Amanda (trying not to panic)

Posted in cosplay, crowdfunding, dragon, emergency

Dragon is …. (#crowdfunding shamelessly)

… contemplative today.

GOT WORK, NOW WHAT? So, here I am, finally got my claws on a job. Not ideal, no… and I really wish people wouldn’t say this is such an awesome thing. It’s a job, k? The problem is that it will NOT even pay my rent at the hours and pay he’s offering. So then another possible second job comes along, also retail. Not sure of the pay, but they may be willing to work with my insane schedule with the first job, etc. Honestly…. the only way it might work is if I do two full days a week at each job. Then two days at the museum, then i’d have ONE day off from all of it…. that would be 32 hours worked, then the museum (no pay-practicum for school). I have mentioned the Spoon Theory. I don’t know if I have enough Spoons to pull this off, even for a short time. Retail is draining and hard on me physically. I’d like to see what the 2nd place has to offer. Who knows what will happen this coming week… one of my concerns is that I do need to start earning enough NOW so I can save up a sizable chunk of funds for any possible move or emergencies that may come up. I can’t do that at $10/hour.

RENT HELP AGAIN: So… I hashtagged #crowdfunding in the title. Yes, I desperately need one more month of help from people. Really just the rent (and food money for a bit… and graduation stuff), not worrying about storage, as school funds will come in near the end of the month, so I can pay it late then. I can request about $250 from an advance on said school funds, but that won’t cover much. I’ll need to tackle that Monday or Tuesday… I wish it was more. But this still means I need a fair chunk of it… and if I don’t get it in by Friday, then the late fee again gets tacked on, but it only gives me an extra couple of days. Then the notice, etc… this will hopefully be the last month in a long time that I get into this position… (I’m going to change the GFM link to another one)

COSPLAY: Tonight (if I’m still awake) I’ll be at Powell’s Books kinda dressed as Tonks for the Harry Potter book release. If I can find everything… I couldn’t find the leggings I wanted to wear, so unless I do find them, the plaid ones will have to do. I’m wearing a skirt over them anyway.Still need to find the right jacket (it’s “somewhere” in the apartment) and my Docs. I have a pair of awesome buckle-happy Docs that are my go-to for shit like this.   I just did a little more digging and found the boots, the leggings and a hoodie that will work, but just isn’t black… oh well. It’s dark blue-ish.

Now, the answer to the question of “But why go if you can’t afford the book?” is Why Not? Yes, I want the book. Can I afford it? No. Not unless someone sent me the $30 in PayPal before tonight so I could get it… say it’s a graduation present or early birthday gift (or a friend I’m with buys me a copy). Hey, I’m graduating from Grad School in two weeks (I really need to work on my dirndl, dammit), which is quite the accomplishment for this Dragon.

NEW BLOG: I finally have the new blog for my Archivist side. Minimal swearing, but mainly opinions and observations… for now, there isn’t a bio page and there’s only one intro post… and it isn’t very colorful. I think what I’ll try to do is add a featured image on each one so there’s something to look at. I’m a photographer anyway, so it works out.

Past Perfectionist is the blog. No legal names, and all that jazz. I don’t know how often I’ll post over there… maybe trying for at least once a week. If you’re not an archivist or librarian, and you don’t get the play on the name, there’s software for museums/archives called Past Perfect. It isn’t the most ideal… but it works. You get a mostly blank slate and build the database how YOU need it for your Archives or Museum. I’m also a bit OCD/perfectionist so it works there as well. You should have seen me yesterday working with the menagerie of “miscellaneous” slides from the 6000+ slides I’m working on.

Because I’m going to try keeping it “professional” over there, I won’t link it back to this blog. This one can link to it, but not the other way around. Personal blog is personal.

~P the Dragon

Posted in Uncategorized

Insomniac Dragon is posting… (#crowdfunding babbling)

Blog title ideas: Anthro Archivist, Furry Archivist, Creative Archivist.

Help?

Also still need funds to get regalia for graduation. And rent funds. The one avenue I was thinking of pulling from maxxes out at $250. Not a huge help, but I can still do it. I just need to get the other $550+ from “somewhere.”

Ideas appreciated. 

Trying to cobble together a decent Harry Potter outfit for the midnight release psrty with friends. Using tje robe from my regalia would help, but i can’t afford it and can’t even go get food. (My fridge is looking like that of a non-cooking bachelor. 

Interview went well. Got a line on another place that needs people and is similar. Still prefer something not in this field and that pays well enough I can save for future endeavors.

Now, if only I could get certain songs out of my head, i might get some sleep. 

~P the Dragon 

Posted in cosplay, crowdfunding, Personal

24 hours #crowdfunding #urgent

Whatever you’re able to do to help…. at the very least do share this post. 

And people wonder why I’ve felt like a dragon so much this week. When I’m stressed out and still trying to do ALL THE THINGS I need to do in my life, I get grumpy.

So in about 24 hours, my unit will go up for auction. I need to pay $695 BEFORE that. Preferably today before 6pm today, but if need be, I can call them and say I’m coming over in the morning with payment.

As I’ve said before, I still face the risk of eviction from my apartment if I don’t clear out the bins of fabric and craft supplies. I have nowhere else to put them but that unit. I don’t like the other nearby places for my own reasons (hygienic). I still have some fabric in there and other supplies.

Right at this moment, partly because of this whole thing, I’m not feeling up to being silly and all that. I think most folks would understand that stress can mess things up.

I have less than $100 right now. About 70-ish… this weekend I’m going to keep playing catch-up with school stuff, but also pull down my bead boxes and make some items to put up on etsy or someplace. That won’t happen in time to save storage, but will hopefully generate some sales to help with next month’s rent.

I’ll be happy again once I’m able to get work and do more stuff.

Thank you

~P

Posted in Uncategorized

Cosplay and … stuff

So, I’m starting the planning for my cosplay for Rose City Comic Con. The amount of yardage I’ll need is frightening. I’m trying to find the best prices for either linen or rayon, solid colors (not saying what color)… cotton *might* do, but I’d rather have something that drapes well… so we shall see….

Today has been another low-key day for me… I’ve been plotting and planning and trying to figure out my time frame for getting this cosplay and my dirndl done in time…. I have a little over a month. EEK!!! I need to get going on the other part of the cosplay. Maybe I’ll start that part tomorrow. It has to be done in stages.

I think tomorrows post will be about dealing with con-life… we shall see…

~P