Honestly I know that the fact I keep asking for help, whether it’s sharing my posts, or donating… I know it probably gets on folks’ nerves…. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t need the help. I am trying to find work. Trying to do everything I can on my own, but it is simply not enough.
I don’t really know what else to do. I’ve asked for people to share. I’ve put stuff up for sale in ever imaginable place online, including this blog. I’ve shared links to my Patreon and the GFM… I know most of my friends can’t afford to do much of anything that involves money. I get that. But by sharing, maybe there are people among your circles that aren’t in mine who CAN help.
I will be at Westercon most of the next few days. I’d like to say I’ll have something unique on so you can spot me… but I’m volunteering and most of my costume things are not together…. well, they’re here. The main pieces. If the purple coat is here and not still stuck in storage, I may put that on. You’ll be able to hear me. BUt for the most part, leggings and a t-shirt. If all else fails, ask someone (Monica or Howitzer) at the convention Info Desk where to find Penguin. Monica can call me. I’ll be on doors three of four days.
That’s if you’ll be at Westercon. if not, post a comment. They’re filtered, so you won’t see it right away, but I will when I next check in. Which, unless I magically get internet at the hotel, will be tonight after I get home guarding the door of Opening Ceremonies.
If you know my name on FB, you’ll likely have noticed my self-loathing post from a couple nights ago. This is, honestly, where my mind is right now. I feel like I could scream, jump up and down, yell for help and nothing will happen. No one will hear me. Yes, I feel like I’m some sort of fuck-up. I’m over 40, unemployed and can’t even get interviews, can’t seem to get anything right, can’t find anything, etc, etc.
Part of this comes from the fact that I tried to save money by moving some of my things in storage to my apartment, but management says no… I can’t have all this stuff here. But I’m locked out of my storage due to not being able to pay May and June. It’ll go to auction if I don’t get it paid up ASAP. Also, if I don’t get my apartment cleared of the majority of the stuff here (even my crafting wall, which pisses me off), I get evicted. So mid July, I could lose both the stuff in storage AND my place to live. I have nowhere else to go. That’s my reality. I tried to trim my costs and got a verbal/legal slap in the face with a possible eviction. Just because I tried to do the right thing. I can’t cut this too close, so sooner the help arrives, the better. I’d rather see smaller amounts from a greater number of people than asking one or two people for larger sums.
And please… don’t tell me to “breathe… it’ll be okay” unless you can make a real dent in the crunch I’m in right now. “Positive thinking” and “prayers” aren’t going to pay the rent and pay off my storage fees.
Light a candle if you must. Say those prayers for me, if you want. But pair them with some kind of action: sharing my posts at the bare minimum. Even just the main blog page. Encourage others to share. My cats will appreciate your help.