Despite my attempts at finding work, I yet again, find myself trying to get creative (although not trying to drain myself at the same time, which isn’t easy) about how to cover the funds for rent for August.
Someone reading this might say, “but didn’t we just DO this?”
Yes… yes we did. I got rent paid, albeit late, and storage caught up…. but my luck at finding work the last several months has been running on the wrong side of the luck tracks… so still no job…. and no income. I have some fabric I can make into skirts to sell… but it’s a matter of the energy to do so. I also have other things to make stuff… but again… energy. Feeling like you’re constantly drained of nearly all of your energy when you need to do things… it’s hell. I see my GP tomorrow…. and I know what she’ll say: get more exercise.
So, here’s my issue with that advice: when you, as a friend or the doctor, tell someone who is dealing with chronic pain and fatigue that if they just exercised more, they’d feel better… do you know what that someone would like do to you?
We’d love to smack you upside the head so hard you forgot what you just said. But we don’t have the energy for it. K?
I can muster enough physical energy to do one semi-major activity…. and guess what? Going out for a damn run is NOT it. Now… I have the rest of today…. a friend came over and helped me haul two loads of stuff BACK to storage as per the order of my landlord. I’m almost done. That’s just about all I’ll be able to muster today. I may have enough energy to cook something…. may. No guarantee.
Now, before anyone says it, yes, I know about The Spoon Theory. I’m pretty damn sure some gremlin came and stole about half my spoons some years back. I’m also pretty sure that gremlin ain’t ever coming back with them. Bastard.
Could diet be affecting me? Yes. If ya can’t afford decent food (and don’t even fucking tell me to go to the damn food bank with their moldy bread, questionable meat, and veggies that look like they want to kill themselves), it’s hard to eat properly. When i do have a little extra, I get things I can freeze or are shelf-stable and can last. I can’t eat normal bread as there’s this little thing called gluten that makes me sick. You don’t want to be around me when that reaction kicks in. Most veggies I eat can’t be frozen. Some can. So, I get things like popcorn, family packs of meat I can freeze individually, and maybe a bag of frozen veggies that have no flavor and are cut WAY too small for how I cook them. Am I a little picky? Maybe (yes, but I have to in some cases). Some veggies just don’t sit well with me. And if I ever get told to eat a banana as they’re nice and cheap, I’ll find you and shove said banana where the sun doesn’t shine. (Dragon, play nice) Besides, they really aren’t that high in potassium as people think they are.
Can’t get back on food stamps until I’m employed at least 20 hours a week. Yeah… the rules suck.
All that aside… I need to get cat food ($24 for a 10lb bag. I know one person who has said if I ever need cat food, to ask her… so I will… we’re getting low on their kibble). I also need to come up with the funds for getting my graduation regalia ($60), and then rent ($745).
I’d prefer not to just beg for help. Most normal sources are tapped out…. I’ve sent an email off to one avenue of assistance, but I don’t know if it’s possible. School funds for Fall term won’t happen until late in August. Too late for August.
Any quick ideas for rent help are appreciated. Local charities are tapped out… I’ve given up asking them. Ideas appreciated…
~P the Dragon