Posted in anxiety, artsy stuff, community, creativity, crowdfunding, depression, dreams, life, nature, peace, poetry, storage, urgent

8/15: Stars (& #crowdfunding desperation)

(I know I keep asking. I hate asking. But getting back on my feet hasn’t been an easy path. Just a bit longer. If you like my #poetry and posts, please feel free to share and contribute if you are able. With eventual stability, or at least things caught up, my ability to focus on things I love and need to do improves. Thank you)

Dreams made
Imagine beyond
The world
We know.
Starstuff dreaming of
Stars.
Who is out there?
What lies outside
Our reach?
Will we know?
Or destiny says
Stay.
Not knowing is
Best.
For now.
Where do
We
Fit in this expanse?
Starstuff dreaming
Of the stars out
There.
Keep dreaming.
Wondering.
Asking.
The answer is there.

~A

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Posted in animal advocacy, cats, empath life, family, friends, grief, nature, Personal

7/21: The Passing of Pets

A friend of mine is giving one of her cats a final day worthy of a king. I wish I’d had that chance with JoJo… and with Jack. But when they both died, I just didn’t have enough time to do that for them. JoJo would have been gone before morning, so I made the choice to free her of her pain from CHF. Jack’s kidneys were shutting down. Acute Renal Failure. I made that choice as well, back in 2010. There was no guarantee of a good life if I had opted for the surgery. Even if I could have afforded the expensive surgery. I was inconsolable both times. But I knew it was the right thing to do. To not let them suffer.

My friend’s cat has cancer. Several masses in his abdomen. In the time she’s had him, she has done everything in her power to show him love. He was scared. He knows love now. And he will pass on tomorrow being loved.

I know people who don’t have pets, don’t want pets, and don’t consider them ‘part of a family’ …. they’re “just” animals. I kinda feel sorry for those people. For me and many others, our pets are the closest thing we have to unconditional love. I’ve had many periods where I’ve contemplated suicide, even in the last couple of years, and my cats have been what has saved me… what pulled me out from that thinking.

We create a bond with our pets. Well some of us do. I know people who have pets and don’t grasp the concept of creating a bond and meeting the animal halfway in creating that bond. They also say, “it’s just a cat/dog…”

We bring these animals into our lives, share our space with them, give and receive love with them. We know we will (usually) outlive them. As an Empath, at the beginning of the year I knew JoJo wasn’t going to survive 2017. I had this distinct feeling I would lose her before too long. A month later, I made the decision to relieve her of the pain of fluid in her chest cavity crushing her lungs, causing pain. I wish she had stayed around longer, but I knew it was time.

Those of us who bond with our pets know when compassion beats the desire to keep them around for our own sake. It’s a bitch of a decision, but when they’re in pain, it’s a decision we have to make.

My heart, with my own loss this year, goes out to my friend with her cat, Ghost. Jack and JoJo are waiting for him at the Rainbow Bridge. Along with all of those cats and dogs we’ve lost. They’re waiting for him… and ultimately for us one day to join them, pain free.

~A

Posted in life, nature, poetry

6/12: Change

The wind
Speaks
A language
Many do
Not
Understand.

Trees respond to the
Wind.
They know
The others
Native tongue.
While humans
Remain clueless.

The water join the
Conversation.
Its own words spanning
Across time and
Miles.
It tells the trees of
Change coming.

Fire and earth
Renew their pact
With the wind,
The water,
And
The trees.
Change is
Inevitable.

But they will survive.