Posted in artsy stuff, creativity, Personal

6/17: Projects

So, I have three jacket/coat projects rumbling around in my brain. Only one involves sewing… I’ll get to that one later.

  1. The Blazer: It’s actually a mens black tuxedo jacket. Nice condition. I bought it at Goodwill a couple years ago for a cosplay I never used it for. It was the “backup” plan. So, I got this idea in my head: Cut a hole in the stitching between the lining and outer fabric and draft out a design to hand-embroider along the back. I was thinking a Mandala, but there are so many ideas. A dragon would be awesome as well. I’m looking at designs from Urban Threads.
  2. The Denim Jacket: I have a basic denim jacket I don’t typically wear much. I have several patches and make patches on my embroidery machine (when I have access). A friend of mine suggested I turn it into my “Patch Jacket.”
  3. This one will be more vague in my description. I have a hoodie that’s wearing out and I want to do a little “nip and tuck” to it and add more to it. It won’t be recognizable as a hoodie once I’m done. I just need pieces of sweatshirt fleece and old sweatshirts of varying colors to do what I want to it.

Right now, to work on #1, I have the jacket and the needles. But my embroidery thread is buried behind a ton of other things. I need to dig out a hoop and my thread… or get new thread. If I go with the mandala, I want to go with blues and purples. I’m having a hard time deciding on a design. I’ve linked to UT above. If anyone has any ideas, leave a comment with a link to the design you like the best. Nothing too complicated. Look at the hand embroidery options.

Dragons, mandalas, wolves, etc…


Posted in artsy stuff, life, Personal, poetry, society

6/1: Woven

[I wrote this back in 2012 in a notebook that I just rediscovered in storage today.]

Up and down.
Weft and Warp.

One color meets another.
Crossing each other
Maybe to meet again
Or not.

Humanity moves
Passing each other
Once, maybe again.
Touching briefly
Or for life.

I knew you once.
Passed through life
Maybe twice.
Warp and Weft.
Back and forth.

One strand
The weight of 
Those that come

Shall we meet
At another
Or never to be?

The fabric we
The humanity
Of our 
Woven lives.

We each are
One strand.
But we become

APA 2012



Posted in activism, anxiety, artsy stuff, bigotry, chronic pain, depression, life, Personal, storage

5/31: Day off again

I did a little too much yesterday, so I spent the day at the house helping my hosts with prepping for a book garage sale. Tomorrow, pain levels willing, I’ll hopefully head down to storage and push myself to even higher limits. I have things I want to remove, shift around, etc… weekdays are better for that because there are less people so I can spread out and use the hallway to pull things and move more stuff around.

Thanks to a certain person whom I don’t know, June storage rent is paid up. One less thing to worry about. A friend is buying my bed frame… and I’m going to find a way to haul the two little bookcases back to also put up for sale this weekend. My intent tomorrow is to get a little deeper into the mess in the middle of the storage unit. The perimeter is organized, but as things got more frantic, it was more of a “throw it in there and don’t break anything!” It’s a jumbled mess of stuff that if you pull on one thing, Bast only knows what will come tumbling down in an avalanche of stuff.

One goal of selling things is to buy the supplies to make a steel pipe garment rack for my costumes and such that come down when things get shifted. Eventually I want to rig it so it’s on heavy duty casters, but those can wait. I just want to get those garment bags hanging up.

Another goal is to pay the buyout price for a textbook. I like keeping my Archives textbooks and this one will take about another 65 for buyout from rental.

Then, after that, set funds aside for feline supplies and July rent for storage. I’m also returning to TaskRabbit as a Tasker and will hopefully start back up and get decent gigs… it isn’t the best source of income, but for the storage unit, it’s fine.

And yes, I’m still job hunting.

Life has been tugging me in so many directions, I’ve felt like I’m on the edge of something… a breakdown maybe… but I’ve gotten through the worse of it… I just still feel stuck. Getting steady work and back into a place of my own will help immensely.

So, there’s my boring life in a nutshell… at least for today.

I also just made a banner for my FB. Feel free to use, just don’t trim off the copyright at the bottom. It fits the FB specs for banners.


I can make a general one as well, but with so much shit going on here… hate crimes more public, bolder, more violent… I needed something. And with Pride Month upon us, the colors felt right.

Well, I think the coffee has worn off for the day and it’s well past my bed time. Although the pain meds were taken too late, so I don’t expect to sleep tonight anyway…


Posted in anxiety, artsy stuff, chronic pain, creativity, Personal, silliness, storage

5/25: Arting w/o Words & Stuff

So I scribble and doodle a lot…. well, not often enough to be REALLY good, but I try.

A few weeks back, an image came to my mind that I felt needed to be put onto paper. Now, when I do artsy things, they usually involve photography or Photoshop… design-like things… but this image in my mind of a Tolkien-esque elf just kept sticking. I started to sketch it out, but got stuck on shitty erasers and a pencil that wasn’t soft enough… I stalled. I still have every intention of finishing her in watercolor pencils… but now there’s a second version that popped up in my mind while sleeping last night. Same general image, but in charcoal on toned paper…. yeah.

So, while I have some quiet time here at the house, I’m going to work on her. She doesn’t have a name… she’s different than RG, who is the main character of a webcomic I’ve been trying -very unsuccessfully- to launch for over two years… I think my financial instability and such hasn’t helped…

I have access now to storage and can get my charcoals and supplies out… I don’t know at this time if I have any blank toned paper left… if not, I’ll have to get some.

I’m a writer who occasionally likes to draw and paint. And now, as I’ve been writing about this, I’m thinking of a small piece as a gift for someone…. I wonder if I can pull it off in time…

Now, about yesterday. I’m amused that I got all kinds of ‘likes’ on here for last night’s post about not being able to do my usual stuff.

I had my Voc Rehab appt and then went to storage… by the time I got TO storage, both of my hips and both knees were screaming bloody murder at me. I rested for a bit on a bench I have in the unit, then started pulling things out and trying to make the stuff right up front a little more “me friendly.” I’d gotten 5 of these huge waxed boxes for produce and four were stacked up right in the middle of the doorway… trying to get around them was a bitch. They’ve now been split up, a few other things shifted around… etc.

I have two short and narrow IKEA bookcases for sale and a friend is buying my bed frame as soon as I can extricate it from it’s location in storage. I can see part of the headboard, but yeah…. there’s a lot piled on top of it, so it’ll take some major shifting of stuff… MAJOR shifting. My folding table is now withing easy reach for each time I open the door. It got buried in the rush of things in March. I like setting the table up for smaller items and an intermediary spot for heavy boxes as I pull them out.

I really want the bookcases gone… they take up floor space in there, which is extremely precious.

Thanks to a person and their biz PP account, the day after auction, I received enough to pay for June rent for storage. When I went down there yesterday, I paid it early. Needless to say, Dustin (manager) was very surprised. I’m almost always late on rent. So I have a little breathing room to tackle selling off some things, organizing the rest, and just getting the physical stuff together in my life.

My left hip is still hurting as I walk around the house. Not as bad as yesterday, but I’ve been resting and trying to stay off my feet, and thus my knees and hips, today. I think this is my sciatica flaring up… although with only occasional sharp jabs of pain. If I had free access to weight machines like leg press, leg extension, and leg curls, I’d not only make my physical therapist happy, but it would help strengthen both of my hips and my back…

Now to see if I can pull off this small thing in time… I have a kneadable eraser, both WC pencils and regular colored pencils… and a sharpener…

And I’m not posting it publicly until it’s been handed off to the person.


Posted in anxiety, artsy stuff, creativity, empath life, faith, life, patreon, Personal, poetry, storage, writing

5/21: quick “note”

You guys (and gals) never cease to amaze/amuse and befuddle me. My earlier post was really nothing spectacular… just more of a “hey, I am still alive here” post… and yet 11 likes on it… this one won’t be much better.

Pretty sure I’ve rambled about this before, but tonight’s poem made me think of this. A lot of my poetry is train of thought. I rarely edit them. Most of the time, I hand write them. Those may get a word change or two when getting typed up, but still, nothing radical. My poems also fall into a “freestyle” form. And they tend to be either observational (the one from earlier this past week about being at the station and watching people is that type) or internal and sometimes extremely personal. I don’t write those to get attention or anything… they’re random stream-of-consciousness pieces. Nothing grandiose.

I sometimes read them to my therapist, who loves them as both a written art form but as being therapeutic. They can trigger an intense conversation in session. Tonight’s poem, which will post at 11pm PST, is an internal reflection piece… it’s kind of an internal conversation… take from it what you will. I’ve noticed a lot of people pay attention to the poetry posts. So, as long as you read them and like them, I’ll keep writing them. The monthly Patreon poem will be a longer, likely more traditional, work. These are just short little ones.

Well, half an hour before it posts… enjoy.

And thank you for bearing with me with my frantic situation over storage… and ensuing “crash and burn” this weekend. It takes a lot out of me.


Posted in anxiety, artsy stuff, community, creativity, crowdfunding, depression, homeless, life, Personal, storage, urgent

5/12: Keeping the Wolf at Bay (#crowdfunding)

With my crowdfunding, I kinda feel like The Boy Who Cried Wolf… and my friends and acquaintances are the townspeople from the classic tale. They came to help many times over, but now, at a time when my belongings are under threat of auction, few “townspeople” pay attention.
I know it’s a lot to ask help for. The “wolf” really has been close each previous time. This time, I can’t get away from the wolf. I just really, truly need a little more time.Help me keep the wolf at bay. I have some ideas and even a few things I can sell off, but are in the very unit under threat. 


Posted in anxiety, artsy stuff, cats, community, creativity, crowdfunding, depression, emergency, empath life, family, friends, homeless, life, Personal, society, storage, urgent

5/7: Sunday Ramblings & #crowdfunding

Addendum to today’s earlier post: when I made the title “getting close” it was referring to the amount of time I have… not how much has been raised. I wish. Running out of time.

I admit I’m horrible at marketing myself or my creations. I have an anthology project that has had two submissions… and my own issues with my personal life have interfered with all my creative endeavors: the anthology, my re-edits of my first book, finishing my latest rough draft, poetry (to some degree…. it has to be whenever it hits me), getting the next novel out after edits. The cover is done, but the editing isn’t. Getting websites back on track… on top of everything else.

One thing I’m considering doing is boosting my Patreon by using the latest story/novella and heavily editing one chapter a month and posting it for the patrons I get. I don’t have any patrons now, so I haven’t been keeping things up… it’s a give and take. If you want patrons, post stuff… if potential patrons don’t see anything posted, they won’t become a patron… someone said a while back that Patreon is really better for those who are already established and have a fan base for their work. I don’t have much of one, and with my pen name website being one that’s down, I’m kinda screwed.

I would love to be more positive in all the things in my life… but it isn’t easy when life just keeps biting back and I can’t seem to get anywhere. Being an Empath doesn’t make it easier. I have my own crap to deal with and then I feel the weight of emotions from others and I’m rendered useless. The day the AHCA passed in the house, as well as the day after, I could barely function. I slept a lot during the day and still slept at night. I felt the anger and frustration from friends and others. On top of my own.

Being uprooted and semi-transient with no work doesn’t help. If I got patrons, I’d have some income. Which would help immensely.

Tonight, I’ll build a page on here for my pen name… it’s temporary until I can get my domain back. I’ll title it: “My Alter Ego” …. Man I have way too many of those. I find it amusing that friends, including the ones I’m staying with, introduce me to neighbors and such as Penguin, and then correct themselves. I’ve had the nickname for roughly 20 years. If you can’t remember my legal first name, Amanda, I do actually answer to Penguin. Dragon is a newer one. I’ve had many others (some have stories attached to them): Sewer Goddess, Kiltlifter, and White Wolfie to name a few… man, those go way back (White Wolfie was from about 1995).

Well, I’ll put on some music and get to drafting up that page.