Posted in Personal

3/10: Life Uncharted, but Dreamers Know

I guess expanding on last night’s post… I’m in that kind of a mood… and yes, still in need of funds to cover storage and a few other things. So… SHARE!!

I’ve always been this dreamer type. I created tales of fantasy as far back as 2nd grade. My imagination was one of the few things that was wholly encouraged in my family. My dad became the dragon that I, as a little girl with a gift wrap tube or fallen branch as a sword (thus making me a knight), had to “slay” amidst the tall weeds in the field next door to our house. He had gained permission to dump dirt from his various house and yard projects over there and he made these meandering trails with the dirt. I sneaked down one trail on the hunt for the dragon and when I heard him huffing and puffing his way down the mild slope with a full wheelbarrow of dirt, I’d halt and wait. I knew not to disturb him with the wheelbarrow full, but on his way back up? That is when I’d strike! I jumped through the “wall” of tall weeds and challenge him as the almighty dragon to be slayed. He played along to a point, but was older and couldn’t act out being the slayed dragon. I would let him pass for another day… and then return to my dragon hunting.

Whether we were indoors or outside, imagination ruled. We weren’t poor, but my mother disliked the idea of buying lots of toys. Our main toys were Legos and Barbie dolls. Hell, put a box of Legos in front of me today and I become that mischievous baby sister who waited until my brother was done making “boy things” with his Legos. Then I’d pull the box out and take apart his carefully crafted “boy things” and make “girl things” with them. Toys that encouraged imagination or creativity were dominant.

I’ve maintained that Dreamer role as an adult. I follow the path that brings me joy. There are bumps and hiccups and detours along the way. My whole 20’s decade was spent trying to be like everyone else and fit in. I dressed in what was expected. I tried to fit in. But by 29, I realized that wasn’t me. It wasn’t my dream. Why would I want to be just like everyone else if I could simply be me? It took me a while to rediscover that part of me. The Dreamer. The one who still uses their imagination. Looks at like a little differently than most. The one who doesn’t give up on who they are and their journey in life.

I know I have unfinished business in my life. I have a long way to go before the day comes when I leave this life. Until that day comes, I’m going to keep learning and living and exploring and being ‘me’ in a world full of ‘we.’

There will be heartbreak. There will be loss. There also will be unadulterated laughter and joy. Life, if we take a step back from the immediateness of it, is a balance of those things. it isn’t all woe and sadness, but it also isn’t all happy things. Finding my spot where those two sides balance out is my lifes’ goal. Who knows where things will take me. But it isn’t about where I end up… life is the journey along the way to that place.

And I intend to have one helluva journey.

~Amanda

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Creative Geek Of All Trades. Do you really need me to explain that one?