Posted in cats, crowdfunding, depression, Personal

2/23: After Court & Being Philosophical #crowdfunding

The attorney called me over this morning before the judge came out. He gave me two options:

  1. Go ahead and talk to the judge, but the eviction will be on my record no matter the outcome.
  2. Take an offer of ONE week, until midnight March 2nd, to clear out. With this option, an eviction will NOT be on my record. (I must make payment arrangements with management)

I’m sure you can guess which one I took. #2. This way, it’ll be easier for me to get into another place once I’m able. Most of my stuff is out anyway and with one more weekend in that time frame, I think this is doable.

The other part of this is still worrisome. I don’t have a place to stay with Portia. I thought of maybe one of those Comfort Inn suite motels that have a little kitchen, etc. But they aren’t cheap. I have no steady income and a medical bankruptcy on my record, so getting a credit card that would have enough won’t happen.

I was damn lucky enough to get CareCredit for covering one vet visit and part of her euthanasia/cremation costs a few weeks later. Several days back, I asked on FB what “larger issue” would fluid build up pressing against her lungs possibly be? A few friends who’ve worked in vet clinics and such all answered unanimously, “Congestive Heart Failure.” I have her ashes back now, and a friend bought her urn for me, which I picked up from the apt office yesterday. She is now home forever.

Portia is being a scamp. I swear she may be about 11 years old, but damn, she acts like a kitten. She’s really coming out of her shell and being even more dorky than before.

A little while after I got home this morning, I climbed back under the covers to take a nap. I had a rough night with my anxiety in high gear over the hearing. When I woke up, I realized something. I’ve moved on from the anger and extreme fear of this whole thing. I have one week. That time is manageable for me with what’s left. Yes, I still have concerns and fear, but there’s a peace over me now. I’m cool with the unknowns of the path before me. That isn’t easy to admit, mind you.

Thing is, LIFE is full of unknowns. We can’t see exactly how our lives will play out. We don’t know when we will die, where we will live, who we will meet… that list goes on. The best we can do is tentatively plan and wake up each day hoping (and maybe believing) that the day will go decently and close to what we want.

I don’t know where Portia and I will land after March 2nd. I do know I’ll need a secure place to stay (she likes to ‘escape’). I also know I’ll need funds to stay somewhere. Unless someone has space I can use for a bit. I’ve had suggestions, etc for fostering Portia if I can’t find something where I can have her with me.

Here’s the thing with that: through being sick, the eviction process, the extreme stress of everything piling on, including losing her big sister, I’ve had this goofy little (*cough*13 pounds*cough*) lovey cat with her squeak and polite paw taps for attention by my side (or in most cases, on my lap, on my chest, burrowed under the blankets with me, trying to steal my food, etc) providing Purr Therapy. To be without her would be another level of Hell…. and I’ve already climbed down enough of those levels the last few months, thank you. She makes my days brighter with her antics. Anyone with pets they’re close to will understand that. I deal with Depression, Anxiety, and PTSD. My cats have helped keep me from walking over the unspeakable edge a person can’t return from. Portia is doing that for me now.




Creative Geek Of All Trades. Do you really need me to explain that one?