I’ve set it to private for the time being… while people are occasionally looking, no one is really buying. So I set it to private and will leave it that way for now.
I was trying to sell things off to make rent… but people just aren’t interested. I even listed several of those same items on eBay and ONE sold. ONE FUCKING THING. The DVD. For less than I’d prefer. Fuck that noise. It’s sold. Fine. Shipping it off shortly. But yeah… a part of me is tired of putting myself out there… myself, my stuff for sale, everything… and getting very little but static in return.
What you’re seeing is not so much someone who wants to hate people (retail already damaged me that way, but I try to not let what’s left go down that road). What you’re seeing in me and my blog is the exhaustion from everything slamming me at once, repeatedly. And it feels like no matter what I do, nothing changes.
I am tired… more than a normal tired… a level of tired that goes well beyond your normal “oh, that was such a long work day” tired. Until you’ve been in my shoes, you won’t understand this level of being tired. I’m not some special snowflake, either. I’m a 43 year old human being who is lost. I don’t fit. I’m an odd one. No safety net. And at risk of eviction and losing everything I have.