We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. ~Joseph Campbell (or E.M. Forster)
Sometimes it takes an observation from someone who doesn’t know you extremely well to make you realize that the wish/dream you want to happen is something you’re already putting in motion.
I’ve dreamed for some time now of moving overseas. Looking into a variety of details made me realize that I won’t need all the stuff i have. Like my furniture.
This person today said “you’re half here and half there,” and she’s right.
Now, there aren’t any immediate plans. I have grad school to finish and life to live here, including finding local work. But I also simply need to downsize the amount of “things” here. For example, in my crafting supplies, I have three Speedball carving sets. Why, you ask? Because while taking some art classes a few years back, I kept forgetting the already owned set(s). This is something I’m notorious for doing.
There are tons of other things. Downsizing the books. Some of which I really don’t need at all. Others have sentimental value and won’t be going anywhere. Some I can list the titles of, sell off, and eventually get them digitally. Like the classics. Except my antiquarian books. It’s a meager collection, but damn, I love them (they also aren’t worth a ton, but still, that whole ‘love’ thing).
There are things I’ll use up (hopefully) such as sewing and some crafting supplies. I’m going to start donating store-bought clothes and making stuff from my bins and bins of fabric. Not everything will get used, of course, but what doesn’t will go with me. My collectibles…. I don’t know yet.
Despite my general mood the last several months, me giving or selling things off means nothing more than downsizing. The quote at the beginning is indicative of my mindset right now. There are things I have to let go of to get to the life I want and should have. I’ve said from the start of my grad school program that, while others in my class have to stay put due to family, etc, I don’t. It’s me, two cats, and a bunch of stuff. I can go anywhere.
A fresh start…. a truly fresh start may be in order.
I’ve had some friends and acquaintances say that it’s very different in Europe. While I may be chatty online, in real life I’m anything but. I like to tell stories, but I hate small talk. I’m an introvert. I like -no, I love- my alone time. I don’t need chatter. To me, the kind of life there sounds damn near ideal for me.
We will see what comes of this. My heart is split, but hopefully so will my citizenship. Then I’ll be able to go back and forth, or wherever my work and heart take me.